When I used to hear Thamma talking about her "Mayer didima", I used to think initially as a child, then as an adolescent, and then as a grown-up that this name was kind of Fictitious. It must have been just an affectionate way of addressing somebody. The fact that somebody's Mayer didima (Mother's Maternal Grandmother) could literally exist in flesh and blood was beyond my imagination. I could understand that Thamma's growing up years had her Mayer didima as an integral part. She would narrate things that she had learned from her Mayer didima, or things her Mayer didima did for her and her sisters. And all along, I thought that Mayer didima must have been some elderly lady in the family who looked after everybody, and for some interesting reason, Thamma and her sisters and maybe others too referred to her and called her "Mayer didima".
It was only a few days back, thanks to Anjoli's visit and research did I get to know that Thamma used to talk about her mother's real grandmother! That was the era of child marriages and early motherhood, and hence Mayer didima did exist. And that existence was not of a frail lady in the last years of her life. It was an active, useful, and strong existence.
My Thamma was the youngest child of Sarajubala and Shashikumar Sengupta. Sarajubala died from a rat bite when Thamma was just a few months old. The oldest of Thamma's sisters, namely, Kamala Sengupta and Bijoya Sengupta might have been adults by that time. But, the younger children like Beena, Bani, Rani, Arun, Amiya, and my Thamma (Lalita) needed motherly care, just as the household needed a woman to take control. We can guess and imagine that that role had been dutifully and affectionately played by Sarajubala's grandmother, i.e. the children's Mayer didima for years. It was learnt from my Pisi Banlu (Rani's daughter) that the children called their Mayer didima "Mammusona". It seems even the children's children like BaRo-Jethu, Jethu, Banlupisi, Chhunmun Jethu (Rani or Fu-Thamma's son) etc called her "Mammusona". Just imagine the length of her life, and what she had seen! She had seen her great-granddaughters' children! And that too quite a few of them for a quite a few years!
My Thamma had a foster mother residing at Shambhunath Pandit Street where she had spent a large part of her growing up years and later parts of her life. But, all her siblings did not have a foster mother. They had Mammusona - to look after them, to look after Shashikumar, his household, his family, guests, visitors, and all that a homemaker looks after. And it was in that Bholanath Dham, Beadon Street house where Mammusona had spent this huge part of her life looking after her grandaughter's children and getting to see few of their children too.
After Shashikumar passed away in 1946, Bani (Mago) and dadu SN Roy had continued to stay at 33/2 Beadon Street with their children Prabir (9 years in '46) and Subir (4 yrs in '46). Mammusona was there, too. We do not know who else of the Senguptas or Roy/ays was there at Beadon Street at that time. In 1950, when S N Roy moved to the US with his family, Mammusona was taken by Kamala Sengupta (Thamma's eldest sister) to Delhi (where Kamala was the principal of Lady Irwin School). It is understandable that in 1950, the Beadon Street house was finally vacated by the Sengupta-family (and its relations and extensions) after decades of living in that house creating intriguing stories and anecdotes at every corner of it - Which is why Kamala needed to take their great-grandmother Mammusona (aged by then) with her. Before that, Mammusona had already seen and lived with her great-granddaughters' children like Prabir (who, born in 1937, was 13 years of age in 1950), Jethu (who, born in 1942, was 8 years of age in 1950) for quite some years! She had also seen a few other of her great-granddaughters' children (including my father born in 1944) who were quite grown up by the time she had left for Delhi in 1950. We don't yet know the year of her death and whether she passed away in Delhi. I think Anjoli's notes said she died at the age of 86 (?) (Anjoli, do correct). If this age that I caught at a glance from Anjoli's notes is right, it means that she was quite young when Sarajubala, her granddaughter (Thamma's mother) passed away!
This was the story of Thamma's "Mayer didima". I think, in those days of very early marriages and early childbirths, many such grandmothers, great-grandmothers, and great-great-grandmothers existed and served the families all over Bengal and India.
A silent tribute to all of them.
~From Mammusona's great-great-great granddaughter
