sei sab dingulo

সেদিন আবার একটা ফুটো করলো ওরা --
কী যেন কারণ বুঝিয়েছিল আমাদের,
কী যেন উপকার হবে বলেছিল,
সে-সব আজ আর মনে নেই...
দু-বছর আগে, ২০১৪-র ১৯ মে,
আমরা আশায় বুক বেঁধে দেখলাম -আবার একটা ফুটো করলো ওরা।

আজ, দুবছর পর -
আমি একডালিয়ার মোড়ে
থমকে দাঁড়াই!
কালোজাম ঝুড়িবর্তি!
কিনে নিই, বাবার জন্য -
ভাবা মাত্রই হোঁচট।
নেই।
যে কালোজাম খেত,
যার জন্য গতবছরও
কিনেছি, যখন যেখানে পেয়েছি,
সে আর নেই।

পাশের ঝুড়িতে ফুলের মালা।
"একটা বেলীফুলের মালা দাও, মাসি" -
গলাব্যথাটা গিলে নিয়ে,
আজ তোমার ছবির জন্যই ...

দুবছর আগে, তোমার দ্বিতীয় অপারেশনের পর
ক্লান্ত আমরা, চিন্তায় অবসন্ন...
বাড়ি ফিরে হাসপাতালে ফোন,
"কেমন আছেন?"
নার্সের বাঁধা গতে উত্তর,
"একইরকম"।
শুয়ে পড়ি, ভোরে উঠেই
হয় ভাই ফোন করবে, নয় আমি।

ফোনের শব্দে চমকে ঘুম ভাঙে!
২০মে, ২০১৪। ঘড়ি না দেখেই ফোন ধরি।
সেজোমাসি চলে গেছে ভোররাতে,
বড়ো অবহেলায়, বড়ো অভিমান নিয়ে।

সেজোমাসিকে শেষ দেখা
(যে দেখা না দেখলেই ভালো ছিল)
দেখতে মা-কে নিয়ে গাড়িতে চলেছি,
বাবা-র আজ জ্ঞান ফিরবে তো?
কে জানে!

Baba's Craniotomy Surgery at Apollo on May 7, 2014

My FB Post On the day of Baba's ominous Craniotomy Surgery at Apollo.. the evening we left with hope for a better tomorrow, but in vain..

I think none of us can ever thank Mainak Sasmal and ChhoTobuRo (Ranajit) enough for the way they stand beside us at every hour of need.. they are brothers to us, in every sense of the term "brother" - "thanks" is a v small word when it comes to the tireless hours that you stand by us providing immense support and priceless services at every crisis that we face..

"Sometimes we feel eaten away, worn away" --- Joyadidi -- A post written by me on May 7, 2015.

Last June, when Jethu reached India, I received a neck-piece lovingly created and sent by you. I saw a tag attached that said "Piyali" in your unforgettable handwriting that has always remain etched in my memory since 1986, the first time I got to know you! Later, during your parents' visits too, you have written to me. Then came the note that you wrote to me when Jethu was coming down in 2011. I remember having a sister-to-sister chat too, here on FB. See, how I am drifting!

Let me get back to the topic. I kept that sachet containing the neck-piece carefully in a covered shelf in my room. Today, almost after a year of receiving it, while I was looking for the big pink one that you had sent me in 2006, I bumped into it. I thought, who needs to wear matching colors with a pink top! Let me wear this one! As I opened the sachet, took the piece of jewelry out, unclasped it to remove the tag, I found the side, reverse to the one on which "Piyali" was written, jam-packed with beautifully written letters.

As I read, "Sometimes we feel eaten away, worn away. But those things that wear us down reveal ourselves to us. They create intricacies of unimaginable beauty and strip us down to who we truly are.", I felt a lump rising in my throat and I almost choked.

I have never talked to you over the last 3 and a half years. I have never shared anything with you. We are separated by continents and what-not! But, the way your words hugged me today. made me feel that we are all connected if we want to be. We can touch anyone's soul, if we want to. Distance does not matter, neither does any kind of difference. At that serene hour in the afternoon, in an empty house, as I was setting out to treat myself to a movie, I felt your love so strongly! We did not need to speak, we did not need to meet physically. But, I had you there with me. And I realized that I have had you always with me. I love you, Joyadidi. I am choking again, as I write this.

So much so, it was when I was going to watch a film titled "Nirbaak" (meaning Speechless).. a film on how love needs no word!

Happiness Was.. A Father who said "Delicious" to Everything I Cooked..

Aug-2014, my oblivious Baba, on drinking a cup of sugar-free liquor tea made by me, said "Excellent!" It was a surprise as he hardly spoke at that time.. A bigger surprise came in end-March 2015, when he ate up all the noodles that I had cooked for his dinner (during a phase when he was rejecting all food), looked at me and said, "Bheeshon Sundor hoyechhe, Mago"..

Miss you Badly, Baba