from the Evening of June 19th to the Noon of June 20th, 2015

June 19th - June 20th, 2015:: The journey to and fro Belle Vue had not allowed us to have lunch.. My brother had also not been able to attend office once since morning.. So, after the nurse settled Baba on his bed, Ma and I went out with my Bro.. We dropped him at office when he assured us that he would have something to eat soon.. Ma and I entered Banana Leaf at Lake Market and we were so famished that we forgot the entire world and ate as if we had not seen food for years.. After coming out from the eatery, Ma bought some vegetables and some essential utensils, and we started for Kasba.. On our way, we got a call from my bro that he was feeling too tired and would like to be picked up as early as possible.. He assured us that he would arrange Baba's meds and nebulizer the next morning. Ma dropped me home and sped off, realizing that Baba was alone with the nurse for a long time..

I had been having sleeping troubles for the past few days, and even my trusted relaxant was not working.. As soon as Ma left, I took a thorough shower, came online on FB for just a few minutes, shut off the computer, turned on the television and spread myself on the sofa.. I chose Romedy Now that was airing a movie.. I remember almost nothing after that.. I slept like a zombie.. Once in a while I was opening my heavy eyelids .. During one such attempt, I realized that the earlier movie had ended and a new one had started. But, I could not keep my eyes open. It seemed as if all the meds that I had been having on the previous nights, in vain, suddenly started to work altogether.
Somebody knocked the door loudly. It was the cook. I told her that she did not need to come in as I was full and would not be having dinner. I could hear her leave and again dozed off.
I got up around 1-30 a.m.! I went upstairs and closed the door of the terrace and the balcony and switched off all the lights. Deciding to continue my sleep on the sofa, I came to the ground floor, and before dozing off again, I kept my phone on the adjoining table. I usually do not sleep with the phone nearby. It was a terribly disturbed sleep throughout the night. I kept having nightmares that my mother and brother were bumping on the door, calling me and telling me that Baba needs to be hospitalized. This nightmare repeated a number of times!

I woke up at the sound of my phone ringing. It was Ma calling and it was 7 a.m.! My heart stopped for a moment. As I answered the call, Ma frantically informed me that my Pisi had to be hospitalized and needed an angioplasty so my bro had rushed off to Apollo as soon as he had got the news. He was accompanied by another brother, Dino. The first question I asked was, "How is Baba? Is the sound still coming from his chest? Did he cough the whole night?" My mother assured me that the sound was not there and according to the nurse Baba had slept well with very little coughing. Ma told me, that as she spoke to me, Baba was sleeping peacefully. I felt assured.

I called my brothers once to ask about my Pisi's surgery. Then, I got online. It was too early for me to wake up. The previous evening's sleep was making me feel somewhat refreshed and I had an early breakfast. I asked my clients whether they would want me to write something. It was too early for them as well. I found myself commenting on pictures and posts, engaging in online chitchats, and whiling away the time. Around 10-25 a.m., I received another call from Ma informing me that my Pisi's surgery had been successful. However, I had already got that information and told Ma so.

Around 10-30 a.m., Sohini Basak Auddy sent me work and I started gathering the materials. Soon, I began writing the article. It was 10-45 a.m., and my phone again started to ring. It was Ma, again. As I answered the call, I heard her panic-stricken and broken voice telling me that Baba was not able to breathe. "Roll the hospital bed up and give him a sitting posture!" I shouted. Ma said that that had already been done. I asked for my sister in law and told her to call the nearest nursing home for a oxygen cylinder. She said, "You come down". I called up my brother. I heard his broken voice helplessly telling me that he was far far away. He said, "I know.. I hope they are making him sit up". I again called up Ma. She was crying frantically and told me that she did not think anything could be done! I sprung up, shut down the computer, and got myself out of my nightdress. I tried to call my neighbor from my window with the intention of asking them whether I could borrow their car to go to SCG. Nobody answered. I got out with numb legs, locked the house, and went to their place. As I asked them about their car, I learned that the car had left long ago. I almost ran to the rickshaw stand. My whole body was shaking. A rickshaw took me to the taxi-stand. The cab-driver was happy that I had a long distance to go. I asked him whether he would have a change of Rs 500. He declined and told me to find a different cab. I pleaded and told him about my father. He gave in. I tried to call my brother. Nobody was picking the phone up. After a long time, Dino picked up the phone and told me that they were still on the way trying to reach SCG as soon as possible. He told me that they had called a doctor's team and an ambulance that would reach Baba soon.

As I reached SCG, I found that I had enough change to give to the cab driver. Dino was waiting for me in the driveway. "Would we be able to do something?", I asked him. He assured me, "The doctors are coming". I took the elevator to the 10th floor. The door of the flat was wide open and I could heat Ma whimpering. I threw my bag on the sofa and entered Baba's room. The hospital bed was flat and Baba was not wearing a shirt. I had never seen him in such a vulnerable and helpless state, before! "Can't we do anything?", I screamed. The nurse came near me and softly uttered, "He expired at 11-05 a.m." I had reached 55 minutes after Baba had passed away. Darkness descended and I had a terrible outburst that I would not like to remember.